Romance Blurb Drinking Game

I’ve been looking at tons of romance novel blurbs at online bookstores this year–a consequence of being both an enthusiastic romance reader and writer. Looking at all those book covers and blurbs, I’ve noticed something: if I had a dime for every time I read the words “secret” or “alpha,” I’d be able to buy all the ebooks my heart and loins desire. But while no one is throwing money at me, I’ve got a bottle of bourbon, and that’s almost as good if I drink enough to fill the emptiness in my bank account and maybe soul.

So I created the Romance Blurb Drinking Game below for your drunk romantic pleasure. Grab some friends, the ingredients for some girly cocktails, and open up your favorite online bookstore because you’re about to get shit-faced looking at some shirtless men (shirt-faced?).

But first a caveat: as with other drinking games, don’t go past your limit, don’t drive, and maybe stop purchasing books after the second cocktail.

Round One: Contemporaries
At your favorite online bookstore, search or click on the contemporary romance category. Then click on any book cover you find appealing and follow the drinking directions below. After you’ve read that book blurb, click on another book in the “Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought” section below it, and follow the drinking directions again. Do this eight more times, for a total of ten contemporaries before moving on to Round Two.

*If the chosen book cover has a man with tattoos on it, take a sip of your cocktail.

*If the book blurb references a “secret,” take another sip. If that secret has the potential to “rip [the hero and heroine] apart,” take a bonus sip.

*If there’s a man with a suit on the cover, take a sip–and wipe that drool off your face.

Round Two: Paranormals
At your favorite online bookstore, search or click on the paranormal romance category. Then click on any book cover you find appealing and follow the drinking directions below. After you’ve read that book blurb, click on another book in the “Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought” section below it, and follow the drinking directions again. Do this eight more times, for a total of ten paranormal romances before Round Three.

*If you see the prefix “were-” anywhere (werewolf, werepanther, werewombat), howl in the direction of the moon and take a sip of your cocktail.

*If you see the word “alpha,” take a sip. If you’ve ever talked about men in terms of whether they’re alpha or beta in real life, take a bonus sip.

*If the cover features a person, man or woman, you wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley, take a sip.

Round Three: Historicals
At your favorite online bookstore, search or click on the historical romance category. Then click on any book cover you find appealing and follow the drinking directions below. After you’ve read that book blurb, click on another book in the “Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought” section below it, and follow the drinking directions again. Do this eight more times, for a total of ten historical romances before Round Four.

*If “rake” or “duke” is mentioned in the title or blurb of the romance, take a sip–like a lady.

*If there’s a woman on the cover with a dress you’d love to wear, take a sip.

*If the woman on the cover is wearing a hat bigger than your family pet, take a sip.

Round Four: Inspirationals
At your favorite online bookstore, search or click on the inspirational romance category. Then click on any book cover you find appealing and follow the drinking directions below. After you’ve read that book blurb, click on another book in the “Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought” section below it, and follow the drinking directions again. Do this eight more times, for a total of ten inspirational romances, before Round Five.

*If there are fields or flowers on the book cover, take a sip.

*If the man on the cover looks like your uncle, take a sip.

*If the book blurb mentions Amish people, take a big sip.

Round Five: Mysteries and Suspense
At your favorite online bookstore, search or click on the mystery or suspense romance category. Then click on any book cover you find appealing and follow the drinking directions below. After you’ve read that book blurb, click on another book in the “Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought” section below it, and follow the drinking directions again. Do this eight more times, for a total of ten mystery or suspense romances.

*If the hero of the story is former military, take a sip.

*If the story involves kidnapping, take a long sip.

*If the phrase “before it’s too late” is in the synopsis, take a sip (before it’s too late and your friend drinks your booze).

Thanks for playing! Now walk home to bed. You’re drunk, and that ebook you bought isn’t going to read itself.