I read a lot. I love books. But sometimes this reading life makes me crazy. Here are ten ways to tell if books have driven you batty too.
1.) The Doorstopper Dread
Your friend recommends this incredible book he’s just read. It’s beautiful, it’s one of a kind, it’s…nine hundred pages long. Everyone knows that sometimes you never want a good book to end, but nobody mentions the darker side: how many books you could’ve read while you were finishing your supernovel.
2.) The Non-reader Conversation Void
You’ve met a new person, and she seems cool, and so you invite her out for coffee. But then, before your drinks hit the table, it comes out: she’s not a reader. You spend the rest of the meal panicking because you’re not sure how to hold a conversation without mentioning books.
3.) The Due Date Panic
You’ve waited too long to start that new Austen Project book, and your library wants it back. And you can only keep that Jeff Vandermeer ebook for six more days. You’ve got to strategize your reading for the next week like a war general, hitting a minimum pages per day at the sake of sleep.
4.) The Series Squirm
You were making a dent in your mile-long TBR pile, but then everybody started making sequels to their stories. Then came the trilogies, then the seven-book epics, and you’ve become dizzy from all the books you aren’t reading (not to mention all the cliffs you’re hanging from). When will it end?
5.) The It Book Angst
Your friend wants to know if you’ve read the latest book–you know, the one that everyone’s talking about. You haven’t, so you request it from the library–and the waiting list is a hundred people long. By the time you read it, no one will want to talk about it anymore, and in the meantime you’re missing out on timely bookish discussions.
6.) The Hardcover Blues
You want to buy the first editions of books by your favorite authors, but you’ve got to send the kids to college, too. Of course reading is worth the price of rubies, but with some books costing as much as small furniture at Ikea, your bank account isn’t the only thing that’s depressed.
7.) The Book Challenge Sweats
You signed up to read 56 horror novels on Goodreads this year, but by April you’ve only cracked one-and-a-half. You’re secretly scared that Goodreads hires people to show up at your door with a stern look and a billy club if December 31st rolls around and you haven’t met your book challenge. Or maybe they’ll send a message with an unhappy emoticons, which could be worse.
8.) The PolyBook Panic
You were rereading that classic you studied in college, but then you picked up a new science fiction novel one night. The next day, you dipped into a New Adult romance. Then things really spiraled out of control and you’re somehow in the middle of seven books all at once. Their covers stare at you accusingly, knowing full well you’ve been seeing other stories.
9.) The One-Click Overdo
If you had a dollar for every book you bought for ninety-nine cents, you wouldn’t be so poor. Every crook of your Nook is stuffed with ebooks you got on sale, and the water bill’s due next week.
10.) The Social Bookus Interruptus
You’re really glad to have a night out with the girls. Really. Except you’re in the middle of the most fascinating memoir, and you can’t wait to read what happens next. Don’t even try to pretend like no one will notice if you’re in the bathroom for a half-hour.
What about reading makes you crazy?
hahaha! Basically all of these rang true!